Once a Year is Too Much

The "Great State Fair of Texas" doesn't kick off until the last week-end of this month, but the most important event may have already taken place.

Yes, my friends, I refer to the "Big Tex Choice Awards," that annual homage to the evilest foods the mind of man can concoct for ingestion along the midway. We've known for years of the preference of incipiently obese children and their doting parents for fried foods. A state or county fair is ample justification to forget about four basic food groups, type II diabetes, and early onset heart disease. We want it fatty and fried.

Now, there are some things that are simply disgusting. I like a great hamburger and won't turn away a quality hot dog, particularly if it comes with all of the classic Chicago fixings. No, I mean that insult to gastronomy, the corny dog. That has no redeeming qualities in any universe. No one beyond the age when you thought Twinkies were good would ever eat a corny dog willingly.

Funnel cakes, on the other hand, are a gift from the gods. Call them what you will, Navajo fry bread or German krullers or southern fritters or super hush puppies. Sweet dough, deep-fried and dusted with powdered sugar is wonderful.

If you accept that folks want fried and fatty, it isn't a stretch to figure out the Big Tex Choice Awards. Hold a competition each year for the fair's midway vendors and then give prizes for "most creative" and "best taste." Win the prize, you get lots of pre-fair publicity, and when the fair opens the world beats a path to your door.

The Last Winners of Big Tex Choice

Proving again that nothing exceeds like excess, the most creative this year is "Deep Fried Butter"! Whip some butter with some nice flavors like maple or cinnamon or apple, then freeze it in little balls. Batter and deep fry the butter-balls. Sprinkle with the obligatory powdered sugar and voila. You get a mouth full of sweet bread with melted butter on the inside.

Best Taste winner is a more attractive and less cholesterol loaded treat, "Deep Fried Peaches and Cream." What's not to like about that?

Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream – Sweet juicy peaches are coated in a delicious batter of cinnamon, ginger, coconut, graham cracker crumbs, eggs & milk, then deep fried to a crunchy golden brown on the outside, while luscious and sweet on the inside. Served on a plate drizzled with raspberry sauce, lightly dusted with powdered sugar and topped with a cool dollop of whipped cream. A side of vanilla butter cream icing is provided for dipping.

Be still my beating heart!