Dick Durbin Learns a Lesson

It is so basic, so sensible, so filled with unavoidable logic that it has become a cliche: "There's no such thing as a free lunch."

Democrats, however, don't seem to get that concept. They blather on about profit for free enterprise businesses and almost always affix the adjective "obscene" to the noun. If an enterprise competes in a free market providing a service that customers are willing to purchase and doing so competitively so that their offering attracts business, then Democrats feel obliged to interject government into the process. The results are inevitable.

Take the question of debit cards. We should all have a good understanding of credit cards already. They are a revolving line of credit upon which we pay interest for the convenience of the loans. We may also pay an annual fee for the card depending upon the bank and our credit-worthiness. We should also know that banks process transactions at point-of-sale with the imposition of a small percentage service charge to the merchant. The merchant gains customer convenience because the buyer is not restricted by the immediate availability of real currency in their pocket.

Service is rendered for a fee. The buyer, seller, service provider voluntarily participate because they feel the service is worth it.

Debit cards take the interest on debt out of the equation. It is simply a computerized method of eliminating paper check processing. Merchant service fees remain to allow the banks to make a profit on the service.

Sen. Durbin in the never ending process of interjecting government between the greedy and the ignorant, has masterminded legislation to restrict the amount a bank can charge the merchant. How government knows the cost of the service or the value to the customer is beyond discussion.

Banks Proposing Debit Card Monthly Charge

So with the reasonable opportunity for profit arbitrarily curtailed by Durbin's pandering process, the result is that the bank must find another way to underwrite the costs of doing business. And those grateful chumps who thought they were getting a ham on rye for nothing are now going to realize that the butcher, the baker and the mustard maker are still demanding payment.

Nice work, Dick. Now why don't you drop down to the community college and take a basic business course.

Knock Knock

"Who is it?"

"Candy-gram for a Mr. al-Awlaki."

"Just a second..."

Bad Lip Reading

Tam at View From the Porch offered this today and it is quite clearly what the governor said. You can read his lips as well as I can:

Full Deck of Race Cards

Apparently transcription has an obligation to edit, correct and modify to avoid any possibility of someone actually being able to tell what was said by an individual if that individual happens to be the Bamster:

Reverting to the Hood

No further comment required.

Fascinating Numbers

Remember the healthcare debate last year? Honestly, who could forget that perversion of democratic process.

One of the key arguments used by the administration to support their hijacking of arguably one of the best healthcare systems in the world was that they had the support of the American Medical Association.

In the minds of most Americans, doctors are represented by the AMA. It is the voice of medicine in this nation. If the AMA says so then it is reflecting the will of medical practitioners. But is that true?

Seventeen Percent and Falling

I knew that a lot of doctors don't belong to the AMA, but I never put the membership in the organization anywhere near that low. And, now apparently the misrepresentation of the interests of the members is causing an exodus from the group.

That tells you a lot, doesn't it?

Next we may learn that AARP doesn't really have the interest of seniors in mind but is really nothing but a front for an insurance company. They don't have a lizard or a ditzy girl in a white outfit.They've got a discount at a Holiday Inn for you if you buy their insurance.

Threatened!

Reuters relays a chilling prospect. It seems that the madman of Teheran wants us to know that two can play the came of deploying along a coast. Yes, he has authorized Admiral Horatio Hackahairball to warn us that they will deploy and patrol along the US coastline, just as we have US naval forces in the Persian Gulf and Mediterranean.

We'll Be Just Outside Your Harbors

Do you think? Well, unless the Iranian Navy gets heavily vested in sailing ships, there is going to be some difficulty there with keeping the diesels running and the swabbies fed. The pictured "warship" in the piece is the Kharq which is a one-of-a-kind large replenishment vessel. That means unarmed gas station and bean dispenser.

What does the rest of the Iranian Navy look like? How many carriers, battleships, cruisers, destroyers, etc? Here is the rundown:

Iranian Navy Order of Battle

That is going to be one long slog for those coastal patrol vessels.

Pay particular attention to the entire destroyer force, all three of them, being listed as inactive. The rest of the surface combatants are smaller than destroyers.

And given the support of light replenishment vessels that means a need for port visits by the ships. Who do you suppose is going to welcome them in this hemisphere? Not even Cuba would do it.

A High School Government Teacher

My students, when asked about their mandatory high school classes in American and State/Local Government will usually say they were boring, they didn't learn anything and they were taught "by the coach." As the course goes on and they demonstrate their superficial knowledge of the basic structures of our government and their non-existent understanding of logical political discussion, I wonder if they are getting a reasonable education.

So, when the headline said, "Texas HS Government Teacher Calls Tea Party Leader a Nazi" I had to take a look:

Response to Challenge? The Standard Fall-Back!

He puts forth a "gotcha" question. It is designed to illicit either an emotional response or an objective but unfortunate truth. Either way he wins. Or at least that's what the youngster thought.

Would you deport students in this room who were here illegally?

Well, you have to view the question from the perspective of adult political dialogue. If you are teaching high school students how government works you would be required to explain where the policy comes from in the first place. How can we change a policy we disagree with? What is the outcome if we are not in the governing majority? What do we do when we don't like a law? What are the methods of getting a change other than legislative action?

Then your students come away knowing that there are things in life that may not be fair. But they are reality. They can be changed, but not necessarily easily.

But does Mr. Government Teacher provide any rebuttal when the Tea Party leader simply notes that illegal is illegal. The law says this is what is done. Processes are in place. And maybe Mr. GT should try to offer a more objective and balanced approach to his students so they can be better informed citizens.

No, there is no rebuttal in Mr. GT's bag of rhetoric. The solution is the person you disagree with is a Nazi.

All is clear to me now.

Points to Ponder

From the mind of George Carlin:

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

Geeks Gone Wild

These guys have too much time on their hands. They may even be on the autism spectrum:

A Man With Issues

This is a classic example of the level of American political dialogue. Be cautioned there is explicit language here:



When a 47 year old adult has a need to express himself in this manner you have to say there is something seriously wrong. And he votes.

Saturday Morning Rocker

Getchur funk on:

Krauthammer Home Run

This piece by my favorite editorialist may be more than a home run, it may be a walk-off grand slam:

It Isn't Economics, It's Fairness

And it's from that "Right-Wing Extremist Tea Party News-Rag" the WaPo!!!!

Knowing Nothing

I've pored over my dog-earred copy of the Constitution again and again and still haven't unearthed the authority among the limited powers for the federal government to be running a mutual fund investing in renewable energy start-up companies. Didn't find a word about venture capital, investment underwriting, purchase and redemption of free enterprises or roll-over of profits from such activity. It must be in there but well hidden.

So we get a pair of the usual suspects now looting the City of Chicago being interviewed by WLS, the premier radio news station in the city.

A-Rod and Rahm Doing the Sidestep

How did they miss all those emails to them? Who are all those other favored companies that haven't failed and why haven't we heard them. Is Solyndra simply a single aberration among hundreds of success stories? Inquiring minds need to know.

Here's the way Rahm and Axelrod would handle it in Texas:

That Pesky Legislature Thing

We've all seen government through executive fiat. It's become pretty common during the current administration. The Messiah wants something for his minions and rather then deal with those fractious folks down the street from the White House, he just jots off an executive order. Slam dunk!

That's not the way it works constitutionally in either the national government or the states. Legislatures legislate and executive branches execute. That apparently is a nuance which Michelle Bachmann hasn't noticed yet. She jumped on Texas Gov. Rick Perry last night for the law in our state which provides in-state tuition rates to children of illegal immigrants calling it a "magnet" for illegals.

I'm not a great fan of a two tier rate structure for the state college and university system. I've heard the argument regarding state citizens paying the taxes that fund and subsidize the state higher education system but I don't buy it. All citizens pay taxes in whichever state they reside. There is cross-over between states for attendance at college. Some Oklahoma residents come to Texas for college and some Texas students go to Louisiana for school. The tax issue has to balance out between the states.

It turns out Texas is pretty balanced about the in-state bargain though. We offer in-state tuition for residents of adjacent states. If you live across the state line, you can come to school here and usually get the in-state rate. Young adults who get their college education in a state often tend to stay there after graduation for their jobs. The state gains from a productive citizen making decent wages and paying reasonable taxes.

The issue though is blaming the governor for the policy in the first place:

Four of 181 Legislators Opposed Policy

When the elected representatives of 24 million Texans choose a policy by that overwhelming majority it seems like it might be a pretty good policy.

And as an aside on the issue, does Michelle really think that a Mexican pondering sneaking across the border does so because he intends to reside in the state with his spouse, have a baby, raise that child to college age and then gain a discount on tuition?

No, Ms Bachman, he comes because he wants a job and that job is one which is going begging without that immigrant.

Taxpayers Reward Stupid

You read the story when it first occurred. Three Americans, two men and one woman, arrested in the mountains of Iran and held as spies. They were hiking along the border, didn't realize they had crossed over and were apprehended as spies. Outrage ensued.

About six months ago the woman was released on $500,000 bond. The US State Department ponied up that cash. The two other members of the menage a trois remained in a cozy Iranian prison. Think "Midnight Express" but with poorer hygiene and no room service.

Now apparently the vacationing judge who was apparently the only person in all of Iran with the credentials to sign the bail documents has returned to work. The boys will be coming home to mama for another $1,000,000 of taxpayer funds.

Freed Americans Should Show Shortly

Would these innocents abroad be engaged in espionage? Were they seeking some solitude for two-v-one sex games. Did they want a pastoral place to meditate? What did they bring for lunch on their hike?

Seriously, what were they thinking?

Of all of the mountains and valleys in the world what were they doing along the border of Iran? Wouldn't Yellowstone or Yosemite fill the adventure and exercise bill? How about Bavaria or the Appenines? Maybe New Zealand?

Why don't they get a job somewhere instead of being rich and stupid? Maybe they could enlist and get the same hike opportunity but with pay and benefits.

And when do we get our $1.5 mil back?

The Inadvertent Truth

Admittedly it is a rare occurrence, but every once in a while a liberal will tell the truth. Here we have former presidential candidate, former Democratic National Committee chairman and medical doctor, Howard Dean candidly admitting what we all knew from day one:

Private Healthcare An Endangered Specie

Yes, even though the Messiah repeatedly, emphatically and incessantly said, "If you like your current healthcare plan you will be able to keep it," he knew all along that wasn't what the clear outcome was going to be.

The only dark spot in this otherwise silver lining to truth is that the good Doctor still doesn't get the idea that we are going to also get less healthcare, poorer healthcare, rationed healthcare, bureaucratically entangled healthcare and a massive tax bill.

He somehow thinks that is going to be a good outcome

Multi-Class Warfare

The Messiah seems to have considerable slippage in the ranks of his propaganda ministry these days. Earlier today I noted the Chicago Tribune suggesting that he return to the ranks of the chronically unemployed. Now here we see the Associated Press pointing out to true believers, class warriors and the loyal fellow-travelers like our persistent Leadfoot here at ThunderTales that the tax proposals are an equal opportunity economic punishment.

Lots of Extra Payers in the Bamster's Tax Hikes

See, folks, he's not just about punishing the successful. He'll be glad to sock it to air travelers, new home buyers, Medicare recipients and military retirees as well.

This a particularly gratuitous slap at those who have given a large chunk of their lives in defense of the country:

Military retirees would pay a $200 fee upon turning 65 to have the government pay their out-of-pocket Medicare expenses. They'd also pay more for non-generic prescription drugs.

Let's be perfectly clear on that. Military retirees paid into Medicare. When we turned 65 we pay exactly what every other citizen pays for our Medicare Part A and B.

What that $200 per month proposal is saying is that we would lose our current Tricare-For-Life benefit which was given in acknowledgment of Medal-of-Honor recipient Bud Day's legal battle to preserve our promised healthcare. The intention is to cancel TFL and sock us with a Medicare supplement insurance cost which would apparently be mandatory.

But applying the often repeated principle of "Reverse Speak" when interpreting the President we should review his statement that "raising taxes is the last thing you would want to do in a recession." Apparently we have now come to the last thing he intends to do...which may be a blessing if true.

Please, Lord, let this be the last thing.

The Day Comes 'Round Again

Harrr, I nearly missed it and would have been keel-hauled fer shure:



National Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Fat Lady Sings in Chicago

As Dandy Don Meredith used to say in the fourth quarter on Monday Night Football, "Say good-night. The party's over." Apparently the bloom is off the rose in Chicago where the flagship newspaper offers this editorial advice:

Don't Run--Avoid Embarrassment

Steve Chapman makes a good point when he writes:

But there is good news for the president. I checked the Constitution, and he is under no compulsion to run for re-election. He can scrap the campaign, bag the fundraising calls and never watch another Republican debate as long as he's willing to vacate the premises by Jan. 20, 2013.

Now that's funny.

Class Warfare

You have to ask if the man can do simple math. Once the question would have been about free-market principles and economics, but now it is simple addition. His numbers never had up, but the emotional appeal is hard to deny.

Remember the campaign rhetoric about 95% of Americans getting a federal tax cut under his administration? With 46% of Americans paying no federal income tax at that time (it's up to 51% now,) that was an impossible statement.

Today we're getting this:

$1,500,000,000,000.00 in Tax Increases

But, don't worry, America. That will only be effecting the top 5% of Americans or so. All of you making forty or fifty thousand a year can continue your brisk pace of capital investment and job creation.

Reinforcing the belief that he has yet to have an original policy thought, the core of this massive tax increase come from mega-billionaire Warren Buffett who appears to be suffering advanced Alzheimer's. The idea is to raise capital gains tax from the present 15% to the top incremental income tax bracket of 35 or potentially 39% if the Bamster has his way.

That should effectively stifle investment motivation for a lot of people who will look to shift their capital off-shore for shelter. It also seems to ignore the fact that much of that capital investment which is being taxed comes from after-tax earnings. Sure, some is business expense, but a significant amount is earnings which the individual employs to grow his assets. It has been taxed once.

Yet we have plenty of evidence that the Messiah is concerned about improving relations with our allies as well as saving American jobs. That's why he is denying a bid from Taiwan for additional new F-16s to replace those in their aging self-defense fleet. He manages to both offend a staunch ally for the last 60 years, encourage Chinese expansionism, and put thousands of skilled American defense industry workers on the streets.

This guy knows how to lead.

Who Are Those guys?

The NY jets are playing in disguise! What would Joe Namath think?

Straws in the Wind

I keep coming across headlines like this one:

Ron Paul Wins California Straw Poll

Maybe I'm missing something in the message here? It is hard to balance the confusing, odd-ball, ultra-Libertarian message of the old man from Houston and the future of the Republican Party and America. Is it possible I'm not reading the tea leaves that are clearly stuck to the bottom of the electoral cup?

I went searching the Intrawebz for details and supportive opinions on this improbable occurrence. In short order I found coverage by CNN and MSNBC, two bastions of conservatism....not! Then an item in Politico, which apparently relied on cut/paste of CNN/MSNBC quotes. And the wrap up of the first 25 links or so was an assortment of Ron Paul for President web sites.

Might this be a message shaper in action?

Let's note some things. Straw polls are unscientific polls. They get their name from "straws in the wind" and are characterized by self-selection of the voters. That makes them meaningless in an analysis.

Romney's campaign is not participating at all in straw poll events. They don't need to waste the money. Perry's campaign released a somewhat confusing message on the California doings, implying that the campaign hadn't done anything but that a Perry supporter in the neighborhood had spread a message to some local groups on the straw polling opportunity. None of the other major contenders seem to have paid much attention.

The news items are honest enough to point out that the Ron Paul campaign is heavily vested in the straw poll route to publicity and that they bused in many of the participants, thereby effectively skewing the outcome in their favor.

At the end of my research I was left with a question about who was eligible to vote in this poll? The reports indicate, "Members of the California Republican Party, associated members and registered guests."

Members of the CRP is somewhat meaningless since California does not require party identification at registration and is an "open" primary state and actually chooses most non-presidential candidates by an almost joking "blanket" primary system. In the blanket primary you get all candidates for office from all parties to choose from, then the top two vote-getters face off in the general election. Effectively you can have democrat vs democrat in a lot of races.

So members and "associate members" means nothing. I don't know what the heck a "registered guest" is.

In other words, this story is about nothing that happened somewhere where some people of affiliation unknown chose from an incomplete list to express a misguided or uninformed opinion. That's democracy in action, folks!

Investing

Due diligence is the practice of reviewing as much background information as you can get before committing to an investment. It's common sense and good business. You check the financials. You check the credit reports. You check the business dealings and you look at the prospectus. When you've done all that you've got a good idea of how much risk is involved in the transaction.

So, would you dump a few million of your dollars into this operation:

"We have incurred significant net losses since our inception, including a net loss of $114.1 million in 2007, $232.1 million in 2008 and $119.8 million in the first nine months of fiscal 2009, and we had an accumulated deficit of $505 million at Oct. 3, 2009," the company said in a December 2009 filing to the SEC. "We expect to continue to incur significant operating and net losses and negative cash flow from operations for the foreseeable future."

Apparently the financial whiz-kids of the Messiah's administration saw an opportunity to make a killing there. But money is no object when it comes from the successful who aren't paying their fair share to maintain the Bamster's supporters. And it is important to get those solar panels produced to sell to the government (you know that is who the customer would be, don't you?) at higher prices than the Chinese product.

Solyndra is going to get a lot more press in coming days and we haven't yet begun to get details on LightSquared.

Saturday Morning Rocker

Graceland is one of the most masterful albums of all time.

Beat This Deal

Yes, friends, I drive a 2011 Hyundai Genesis 4.6 and here's why:

Ford Airs Harsh Commercial

You've seen the Ford commercials where a real Ford owner is taken to a surprise press conference to comment about the product. They are unscripted, totally spontaneous and use actual people who have bought a Ford. I've got no doubt that a lot of the footage shot is worthless, but occasionally a gem is found in the rough.



When you find people off the street spontaneously slamming government bailouts of failed companies as payback for their union support then you've got pretty strong proof that America has noticed.

Here's the full story:

Ad Slams Government Motors

Someone somewhere still knows that success comes from self-reliance and hard work.

Carville Says Panic

James Carville, the Skeletor from Outer Space, suggests that the situation for the administration has gotten so bad that the best thing to do is PANIC!! and fire a whole bunch of people. He may be right, but I think the problem could best be dealt with through an orderly dismissal of only one. Maybe that's just me though.

The Best Course of Action

It might be time to consult with Brother Maynard:

Begging For Nannyism

Most Americans, if you can sit them down and get them to listen for a minute, will probably agree with the principle that they don't want to be taken care of by the government. They would prefer to live their own lives, raise their own families, earn their own money, choose their own foods, make their own spending choices, take their own risks and educate their own children. Even the most liberal will find a point where you can get agreement about cutting off the government interference.

That is unless you're Tavis Smiley:

We Need to Be Taken Care of More

It is impossible to examine that without concluding that the man is nuts. Particularly frightening is that sentence about "Whatever happened to that notion that to the victor goes the spoils?"

That's about wars, Mr. Smiley, not about elections. Andrew Jackson, you may recall, got into a lot of trouble regarding the spoils system. When you become President you don't get to loot the country for the benefit of 16% of the population. It doesn't work that way.

Or at least it hasn't so far.

Caption Contest

"I looked and said, 'Is that it?'"

Friends With Privileges

As the Solyndra scandal continues to unfold we begin to get other glimmers of White House leverage to steer massive tax-payer dollar amounts toward major Obama supporters. It apparently really helps to be a friend of the Bamster. It shows how much he has grown over his Chicago community activist/ward-heeler days. There you could get a towing company kickback in return for few bucks campaign contribution. You might get a maintenance contract for a couple of city schools where you could skim a hundred thousand or two off the top. But he's moved up to the huge bucks range. Solyndra got half-a-billion and less than a year later they file bankruptcy. Someone very obviously took the money and ran.

Now we've got a new one popping up. Maybe you've heard about LightSquared. They are a broad band technology company that wants to grab a huge chunk of the electromagnetic spectrum. The problem is that there is significant evidence that this usage will interfere drastically with the GPS satellite network.

USAF General William Shelton was scheduled to testify before Congress on the impact. He is certainly a man who should know. What he would say would be pivotal.

General Pressured by White House to Alter Testimony

How unfortunate that the Messiah wasn't told that occasionally the Honor Code of the military academies doesn't have an expiration date. Yes, we do have instances when the Code has eroded or disappeared but some few honorable folks still have the fiber to do what is right. They will not lie, nor cheat, nor tolerate. The President's staff doesn't seem comfortable with that concept.

Particularly when it is payback time to a guy who ponied up a big campaign contribution and now is expecting his pound of flesh back at the pork troughs.

The Optics Thing

Report suspicious blogs like ThunderTales to the authorities:

Constitutional Exception?

We are now up to 41 states that have some form of  "shall issue" concealed carry permitting. That's a measure of the political will of the people on the topic. It would be hard to deny which way the people lean on this one.

Still we have the sort of arguments raised here:

Proposal for State Reciprocity on Table

Suddenly the Big Government folks that want the feds doing everything have become the defenders of "state's rights" when it comes to the issue of reducing confusion on concealed carry laws. The arguments they raise are ludicrous.

Testifying before Congress on Tuesday, Philadelphia Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey told the story of Marqus Hill, a man whose Pennsylvania gun permit was revoked after he was charged with attempted murder. 

"Despite his record, he then used his Florida permit to carry a loaded gun in Philadelphia," Ramsey said. "He eventually shot a teenager thirteen times in the chest killing him on the street."

Does that make sense in the slightest? You start out with a Pennsylvania resident who is charged with attempted murder. How does the Police Commissar run a place where the guy is on the streets carrying until "eventually" the attempted murderer becomes an actual murderer? Was this "eventual" killing the fault of the gun law or simply police and court bungling?

But the more basic question is the core Constitutional one. How do you justify the recognition of a state's properly issued license by any other state with this language:

 "Full faith and credit shall be given in each of these States to the records, acts, and judicial proceedings of the courts and magistrates of every other State." 

It works for driver's licenses, vehicle licensing, marriage and divorce decrees, and a hundred thousand other enactments.

The Mudville Nine Redux

Make Up Your Own Mind

Let's just say that if I had a son, I wouldn't want him emulating this. And if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her swooning over this either:

Beebs Da Fashionista Faggola

This guy is testicularly challenged.

Can America Be Waking Up

The Messiah gave the best speech of his presidency to the joint session of Congress last week. I didn't believe a word of it, but it was a stirring speech and well delivered. He promised the moon to the misbegotten and finessed the paying with "I'll tell you next week." Classic Wimpy and a hamburger gambit.

How's that working out for him?

Joe Six-Pack Not Buying It Again

Is that a valid evaluation of the mood of the electorate? Well, if the results of a pair of special elections yesterday are any indication, I think we can say it is.

Weiner seat lost after being comfortably in Democratic hands since 1920. Certainly not a swing district, but it has swung.

Scary

I'm sorry, but I'm not a Michelle Bachmann fan. She whines and screams and throws tidbit of red meat to the faithful, but I honestly don't believe she has much grasp on complexities or issues. I don't think she has a chance of gaining the nomination but if she did, I would be apprehensive that she wouldn't be an intellectual improvement over the Messiah.

Listen to her take on this very dead issue:

Innocent Girls Forced Into Danger and Governor Complicit

Let's acknowledge that Perry has repeatedly admitted he should have not issued that executive order but if he wanted action on the vaccine he should have asked the legislature. He didn't seek legislation first, he retracted his executive order within a period of a week or two, he apologized. No harm, no foul, five years later still no problem.

Now what is Ms Bachmann's rant? These are "innocent young girls"! So how is their innocence compromised with an inoculation? Are they still virginal? I hope so, but if that changed it wasn't the shot that did it.

Was the shot mandatory? No. It simply took a parental statement of "no thanks," to opt out. Hardly an imposition.

Does Gardasil work? The FDA says it does provide protection for 5-10 years which would be the time for most of those young women to enter sexual adulthood and be the most ignorant and vulnerable with regard to means of protecting themselves from a high morbidity cancer.

Will vaccinating make an otherwise chaste "innocent young girl" suddenly promiscuous? No more than realistic sex education does.

Is a patented medication only available from one supplier? Well, yes. That's the whole point of a patent, Ms Bachmann.

Possibly her worst pronouncement was the anecdotal story of the distraught mother approaching her and asserting a cause-and-effect relationship between the Gardasil vaccine and mental retardation. Is this one of the candidates whose science is more reliable and immune from question than the Governor's statement that the science on man-caused global climate change isn't totally accepted?

And finally, the point that the Governor refuted so nicely, accepting a contribution of $5k in a $30 million dollar campaign effort will probably not buy his vote.

If these were examples of Representative Bachmann's A-game, she isn't ready to play in the big leagues.

Nonsensical Emotional Appeal

The question that comes to mind repeatedly as I watch yet another pseudo-leadership move by the Messiah is, "how stupid does he think the American people are?"

The bill he proposes is clearly a stimulus and it clearly is a huge tax increase proposal. When you define the tax increases as applying to those making $200,000 and higher you are definitely slicing into the middle class. That isn't the territory of great wealth. It is the meat and potatoes of small business owners and educated professionals. The alternative to his tax burden is a quick lateral to the Super Committee, dumping responsibility to find deficit reductions somewhere else. They've already got a $1.5 T task on their plate and the Bamster wants them to round up another half-a-trillion.

Cover up the lack of workable substance with another "do it right now...and we'll find out what is in it later" sense of urgency. Stampede the herd to get leaner steaks for dinner.

If you really want to appreciate how emotional his approach to problems can be look at the heart-wrenching pathos of the video here:

It's Old and Poor Ventilation and Might Make Kids Sick and Stupid Too

So, you stand in front of an historic building, you generalize that nothing has been done to update or maintain it. Then you extend the generalization to schools across America. You build a straw-man deficiency and emphasis that it MIGHT makes a student sick. Finally you link that remote possibility derived on questionable logic to educational failure. Only he can save Americans from a generation of coughing ignoramuses orphaned by collapsing bridges and highways caused by failure to pass his bill right now.

Most importantly you gloss over the fact that school budgets, including maintenance and capital improvements, are not funded by federal spending. They are funded by state and local school district revenues.

But, then you were stupid enough to elect him once so you should be stupid enough to lap that drivel up again.

Shame? You Bet I'm Ashamed

Retired SecDef Don Rumsfeld expressed outrage at a blog post by NYT Financial Editorialist and Nobel Laureate, Paul Krugman's comments on 9/11.

Read them for yourself here:

Guiliani, Bush and Neocons Embarrassed Worthless Liberal Pansy

I'm ashamed myself. I'm ashamed that the Nobel Prize which was once viewed as one of the most prestigious awards a man could earn was awarded to the likes of Krugman and Gore and Obama. That's worthy of shame.

I'm ashamed that someone who lives in New York City and was undoubtedly on-scene that morning would say something so foolish.

I'm ashamed that an adult male in America would not view the efforts to stabilize the situation, restore security and punish the network that perpetrated those horrific events as honorable.

I'm ashamed that this spineless slug would express his cowardly opinions to make political points.

There is plenty of shame to go around, Mr. Krugman, but it all rests on your flaccid and compliant shoulders.

Every Picture Tells a Story

Remembering the fallen from 9/11. Two men in a moment:

Time For Testing?

I've thought about it every time I see a picture. There must be some sort of rules in tennis about performance enhancing drugs, aren't there?

This simply isn't natural:

The Texas School Conundrum

You've heard the rap I'm certain. The left has been taking swipes at Presidential candidate Texas governor Rick Perry about the sad state of public education in Texas. You've got the numbers bandied about. Things like Texas dragging at the bottom of state rankings lists for per-capita spending on K-12 education. Try to ignore for the moment that fact that throwing dollars at a school does not necessarily get you a better student at the end.

If you get a more astute observer you might get a discussion of Texas mediocre performance in graduation rates or student achievement or college readiness. Can we possibly be doing so poorly because of our governor? Can we be so dumb at the end and still host the best business climate in the nation? Maybe not.

Bang For Educational Buck Above Average

Don't you just love it when the Messiah's Secretary of Education and former Chicago crony comes off like an ill-advised dunce and the Texas cowboy seems to have been in charge of a state that's doing all right?

When the NYT Says It

...it must be really bad!

The realization of the reality of incompetence has finally trickled down to the hard-core. The rest of the nation and the rest of the world has known it for some time. There is no "there" there quite obviously. Pay particular attention to the quotes of the leadership that is very worried about their own scalps as well:

Electability At Issue

Yes, indeed, some petulance is in order:

 “He needs to start stomping his foot and pounding the desk.” 

Nothing like a tantrum or two to get the voters back in the fold. Maybe holding his chin out a bit further in that Mussolini glare isn't enough anymore. How about a big stadium rally with torchlight, massed troops, lots of flags and some spittle as the rhetoric flows and the fists pump the sky. Is Leni Riefenstahl available?

As for the Messiah's solution for unemployment, the NYT offers a pithy summary of Economics 101 which is a class he apparently cut:

The Numbers Don't Add Up For Real Businesses

But real people already knew all of that. Now if the average New Yorker bothers to read it, we might get some movement.

Tam Says It

I agree.

Unions Go To War

It was last week that we heard Jimmy Hoffa Jr. talking about Obama's army waiting to do battle. They were identified as armed and eager to "take those sons-of-bitches out." Which would those be? Why those mean old TEA Party folks who quietly express their desire for free markets, low taxes, individual responsibility and the principles our Founding Fathers established in our Constitution. Was that simple rhetoric? Or does "take out" really mean what it has always meant?

On Thursday in Seattle-Tacoma harbor we saw 500 union members storm the gates, attack the six security guards, destroy shipments of grain, vandalize vehicles, and cut the brake lines on railroad cars. This was planned, willful violence which could have led to death. The imagery of a train of loaded grain transporters roaring unchecked through housing isn't a movie this time.

Boys Will Be Boys. No Arrests.

Now, I'm no fan of Big Sis and the DHS. Walking barefoot through airports holding my pants up with one hand while trying to keep an eye on a conveyor moving my lap top and wallet out of sight as a sweaty bubba mouth-breathing high-school drop-out fondles my nether regions is not my idea of a good time.

But, isn't this the week of the tenth anniversary of 9/11 and don't we have reasonable belief that a memorial attack could be pending? Haven't we long listed our ports and transportation hubs as prime targets? Where the hell is DHS on this? Isn't this a port? Isn't this a security issue? Isn't this already identified as a target?

Note to terrorists: Flash-mob a couple of hundred rag-heads. Wear T-shirts with union logos. Rally at nearest harbor with baseball bats and wire-cutters. Expect unarmed resistance by six rent-a-cops munching on donuts. If caught, claim labor rights and mumble something about collective bargaining. Don't expect arrest. Happy terrorizing.

Saturday Morning Rocker

Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Sometimes it isn't appreciated or it is misunderstood. But we all should remember all the people who fought and died and did things that common men can't do:

An Era Passing

It will never be gone, but it is definitely in passage.

You may have noticed in perusing some of the Regular Stops on my bloglist that a number of the folks have been engaged in the exercise of compiling "What is on my book-shelf" lists. Some fascinating collections are revealed as well as insights into the persona behind the blogs.

But it caused me to think about books. I've long had a love of books. I adopted the habit very early of never discarding a book once I'd bought it. After a time in the military however, with frequent moves and looming maximum shipment weight allowances, I finally purged my very obsolete, but hardly read, college textbooks. It was necessary to make space for the many books collected over the years of overseas assignments where there was no television so the evenings were passed with the latest offering from the Stars & Stripes bookstore at the BX.

When we built the house in Texas we had the chance to include a lot of built-in book cases. Some in the living room flanking the fireplace, some in my office adjacent to the work area and some more in the guest bedroom area. They were pretty much all filled up when we moved in and completed the nesting process.

Then SWMBO went off to a one-day course conducted by a friend in town who operates an amazing interior home decorating store. The course convinced my wife to "re-do" the living room book case walls. That led to numerous excursions to various bric-brac, knick-knack, pollywolladoodle shops to acquire a collection of curiosities and gimcracks to fill spaces which should have been occupied by books. A requirement of the decorating was the removal of all of the dust jackets to expose the predominantly black spine bindings of the works. Then very precisely determined by trial and error placement of the acquired artifacts and literature to simulate reckless abandon exactly in conformity with the existing feng shui. Just like we don't have "drapes" we now have "window treatments", so also we don't have "book-cases" we have a decorated wall shelf area.

Now, I can't find a bloody thing when I want to check a reference. The placement is very un-library with concern only for color, size and thickness rather than subject or author.

But, that's when I recognized the era passing. When I pondered whether to create my list of "What's on your bookshelf" I suddenly stopped to ask, "What's a bookshelf?" Followed quickly by, "Who needs one?"

No, I haven't become instantly illiterate. But the era is very clearly in transition. We are seeing the de-emphasis of the traditional book. We don't need to kill trees anymore to "publish" our thoughts and fantasies. We've seen the evolution from scrolls of parchment to tediously hand-illuminated manuscripts to mass production publishing to publish-on-demand. Now we are very aggressively on the road to e-book domination.

I'm on my third generation Kindle. I've commented several times here about how convenient it is and how it has drastically impacted the amount of material I read as well as the quality. SWMBO has her own. Now I've added an iPad which is loaded with the Kindle e-reader app as well as iBooks and a half-dozen news source apps. Recently I discovered Kno, which is a textbook app that offers student from K-through grad school a route to buy or rent text books for a portion of the dead-tree price. Kno lets them eliminate the heavy back-pack, save a bunch of money, search, highlight, bookmark, clip notes and organize all their school books.

Yes there will always be the nostalgic concept of evenings before the fireplace, snow falling softly outside the window, a glass of vintage port by my chair and feel of a good book in my hands. I'll nod appreciatively when someone tells me of the smell of the bindings, the heft of the pages as they turn, the remembrances of readings past, the experience of losing track of time in an antique bookstore or comfortable library. Yep, but within arm's reach will be my Kindle or iPad or next generation equivalent with thousands of books at my fingertips and information it would take me weeks to find the old fashioned way.

And since I'm not going to drive a windmill powered "green" car or power my household with rechargeable batteries and solar cells, at least I'll save a few trees.

Soaring Rhetoric

I watched last night. Like a moth driven to a flame, I watched. I gag at the fawning positioning of the grand entrance. I'm distinctly nauseous as the cohorts of loyalists leap to their feet applauding vigorously at each pithy pronouncement. But I watched.

One would be disingenuous if one were to deny the obvious. They guy knows how to give a speech. He is a consummate campaigner. He can craft the strings of words that stir emotions in the placid breasts of the booboisie. If you know that what he is saying and promising is nothing but empty bags of fluff ungrounded in the real world, it loses some glamour, but still remains stirring.

Admit from the git-go that it is STIMULUS Part Deux (or Tres or Quattorce). It is a dispensing of money to chosen fortunates for the purpose of purchasing votes. It is another half trillion of money which we, as a nation, do not have in our purse.

We're going to extend his magnanimous reduction in payroll taxes. Should we note that money is what funds Social Security which is going bankrupt at an accelerating rate? Should we further note that the pitiable reduction which we experienced last January when this cut was implemented didn't show up in actual pay-check dollars because it was accompanied by a Medicare increase? And should we hammer home the oaken stake with the realization that this pittance isn't going to be enough to motivate any employer with common sense into a hiring frenzy.

Well, we're going to fight against those EVIL people (over to the right side of the chamber, hint-hint) who seek to deny collective bargaining rights to the 7% of working Americans who are suckered into Jimmy Hoffa's thugocracy.

And, we're going to stamp Made In America on crappy Chrysler products and sell them to unsuspecting Koreans in place of quality Hyundais and Kias which Americans are snapping up in preference. That is if the Messiah can ever find the trade agreement that was placed on his desk three years ago for relations with Korea so that he can sign it.

Along the flowered path we are going to rehire teachers who were let go because of constricted state and school district budgets. Pay no attention to the fact that teachers are employees of local districts whose property taxes and state taxes fund more than 90% of school costs. We're apparently going to take the money out of your other back pocket so you don't notice that you are still paying for it.

While we are at it we are going to build lots of energy efficient cars (like Volt, which the free market is ignoring) along with taking leadership in semiconductors (which we already have).

And, I'm going to be back in a week and a half to give another wonderful rousing speech that will tell you all how we are going to pay for it. I haven't figured that out yet, but I'll get Geithner and Bernanke right on the project.

Now let me wrap this speech up with "God Bless..." Ooops, mistake. That sounds like Red Skelton's sign off. Oh yeah, that should be "God Bless Amerika...wow, that sounds so foreign...."

Donkeys

Found Her

I just had that deja vu all over again feeling about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. That hair, that wild-eyed look, that frantic message...

Found her:

"About the Political Optics"

Anybody want to sign up to be a hostage?

That seems to be the opportunity the Messiah is offering to the members of the US military. Take a look at this:

45,000 to 10,000 ("in extremis") now 3,000

The admission that there is relationship to "political optics" is almost refreshing in its honesty. That is all it is about. The Bamster who has never spent a moment of his miserable life in uniform let alone in harm's way is aggressively snatching disaster out of the potential jaws of victory.

He was dragged kicking and screaming to a surge. When it apparently stabilized the Iraq situation he seized on the concept for Afghanistan, while still trying to point out the non-existent differences between what President Bush had done and what he was attempting.

Now he wants to pacify his pacifist base in time for the 2012 silly season. Draw-down is inevitable in Iraq and totally reasonable if done with consensus of the military leadership and with analysis of the political situation on the ground.

When the commanders on the scene tell you the extreme minimum that can preserve the outcome is 10,000 and the Messiah's response is 3,000 you seem to have guaranteed a nasty and bloody outcome; one which eagerly abandons all which has been won and which disrespects the sacrifice of those who have given so much in the battle.

There is a certain significance in the number 3,000 which so closely parallels the 9/11 victim count. But this 3,000 will know what is coming and simply be awaiting the tragic day.

Doing the Math

The details are leaking out about the Messiah's economy saving jobs creation plan which will be "unveiled" tomorrow night. Here's a glimpse:

Stimulating Plan With Ephemeral Tax Cuts

OK, let's take a very superficial look at that. The first wag (wild-assed guess) at the pump prime involved is $300,000,000,000.00, but they admit that it may cost more. Of course it will cost more. Have we ever seen one of these that cost less than promised?

But, instead of wrangling over who gets what in a darkened capitol cloak room then dispensing massive bags of loot to chosen political constituencies. How about this proposal:

Take the $300 billion and send out checks to 3 million Americans, each worth $100,000.00. That's the kind of money we're talking about here. Three million folks would get a hundred K in the mail.

No middle-men, no political wrangling, no deals or skullduggery. Just pull name out of a hat and ship off the money.

Believe me that would stimulate the hell out of the economy. Stores would be buzzing, auto-dealerships would go crazy, home-building would flourish, the stock market would go through the roof, banks would have billions to lend and nobody could be pointing fingers at corruption.

Luck of the draw, check in the mail. Problem solved.

I think I'll watch for the postman...oops! Better Fedex that money, Mr. Prez. I hear the USPS is having difficulties.

Sweet Home Chicago

They say you can't go home again and it's true. This is what the neighborhood looked like when I was growing up. I lived a block away from the Gateway theater and just down the street from Hoyne Savings. The Superdawg was built when I was in eighth grade as a sign of the success of the hot dog vender who started with a stand-up shack along Milwaukee Avenue. This is real and this is what it looked like around my youth.

Giving Blondes a Bad Name

Remember Baghdad Bob? Those great morning press statements of Bob standing in front of the Ministry of Information reporting on the victories of the indomitable Sadaam Hussein's army of Republican Guards and other brave Iraqi fighters...as the US tanks rolled through the streets in the background just a bit dusty from the run across the border from Kuwait and Saudi.

It's sort of like the Wizard of Oz' great line about "ignore the man behind the curtain." Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?

Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, chair-airhead of the Democratic National Committee, seems ready, willing and able to replace either BB or the Wiz when it comes to outright denial of the evidence. The question is whether the American people are gullible enough to believer someone who looks like a reject from Saturday Night Live:

Job Creation, Recovery, Stimulating Economic Facts

Debbie, darling, take a look at the national debt. Review the jobless rate. Check the growth in GDP. Observe the charts of economic indicators for the last 30 months.

Who is going to believe this?

The Magical Money Machine

Like an alchemist seeking to turn straw into gold, Maxine seeks an amulet. She has a message of a perpetual motion machine that does work while simultaneously generating its own power to keep going forever. Somehow in her world there is no cause and effect relationship. Listen to her hope for the future:

Creating Jobs By Pump Priming Forever

See how easy that is? You simply take a trillion dollars or more and "put it out there". Then people get jobs, make money and spend it. You don't hold taxes down on businesses or the successful. You tax those few remaining people who pay income tax in our progressive system.

Or, maybe you go out in the yard to the big money tree and pluck down a trillion or more.

Yeah, that's the answer.

Ms Waters, learn this: Governments make no product. They have no income or money of their own. Since they have no money and make no product they can create no jobs. Having a government take money out of the economy through taxation then redistributing it is not creating a job.

Jungle Drums On Order

There are some things that we must turn over to the government so that the greedy investors, entrepreneurs and capitalists don't make a profit. Government is more capable of not making a profit than anyone as this item proves once again:

Union Workers Can't Be Fired, You Can't Get Mail

Well, that's just a result of the Internet! UPS and Fedex can't make it either...Oh? They can?

It's a good thing we've got efficient, convenient, easily accessible, comfortable passenger rail in America thanks to the government. Oh? We don't?

But we can be thankful that our healthcare is now going to be run by these masters of efficiency. Sure we can.

Now Something a Little Different

No, not Monty Python:

Flashback: 1974

I was watching an orgy of college football yesterday, a 12 hour feast of game after game with channel-hopping featured to insure I didn't miss a season-opening look at anybody. Along the way the futility of pre-season ranking was confirmed for me.

It was about 8:00 PM last night that it occurred. The NCAA desperately needs a fashion consultant. They are on a slippery slope such as the world of garish clothing has not encountered since the 1970's. This time around it could be worse than polyester double-knit sport coats, 10-inch wide brocade ties, pimp-heeled boots, and floral spread collar shirts with a gold chain dangling on a hairy chest. Super-flared hip-huggers were nothing compared to what I was seeing on the viddie.

The football uniforms worn by today's college teams are apparently sold in unlighted warehouses. No one could make those choice in actual daylight. They are so bad that LSU's traditionally classic yellow actually looked pretty good.

The Oregon Ducks with the matte black, velvet finish helmets, the shiny applique faux feathers on the shoulders of the jersey and the day-glo green numbers looked like Darth Vader meets Stealth Transformer. Nobody should have to go before a crowd of 50,000 people costumed like that.

Georgia has taken red to a new level. First fashion clue: never wear the red jersey, pants and helmet all at once. They looked like raspberry popsicles melting all over the field.

I thought for a second that Boise State looked pretty dignified and cultured. The sported all white unis with an avant garde single sky-blue sleeve cap. Since they already win the poor taste award for their choice of electric blue Astro-Turf in the home field it seemed as though the game costume was reasonably subdued. That's when SWMBO pointed out the pink shoes. How does a coach convince a team of football gorillas that pink pumps are the perfect game accessory to intimidate the other guys?

I'm afraid this is going to get a lot worse before improvement comes along. Remember the major league baseball uniforms of the '70s? At least MLB doesn't give us "Throw-back" games like the NFL...yet!

The Big 12, er 10, err 9, err Maybe Six or Seven?

College Football is back! And, not to be overshadowed by the drama generated by the NFL lockout spring and summer events we're watching the consolidation, crumbling, maneuvering and posturing of what appears to be a significant realignment.

Last year the PAC 10, er 12, solicited big names to become possibly the PAC 16. The got some takers and the Big 12 with parallel six-team divisions and a series of significant rivalries began to crumble. Last year both Nebraska and Colorado walked out the door.

OK, a conference can make do with 10 good teams and we'll just look the other way when it comes to counting how many there are in the "12". Most of the players can't count that high anyway. But this week Texas A & M said bye-bye. The confrontation with the Texas Longhorns that had gone on for 112 years would end in 2012.

So, how do you work a nine-team Big 12? Logically they go shopping for a heavy-hitter to bring into the rotation. The logical choice, at least to me, seemed to be TCU; undefeated for 25 straight regular season games, Rose Bowl champs last year, and a Texas fixture as well.

But why would they want to leave the Mountain West to join a crumbling conference? Besides, they already accepted a bid to join the Big East for 2012. And that was before humble Baylor taught them a lesson in pass defense last night. The string is over, the king is dead, the Bears roared.

Then who is left? Would Notre Dame leave the embracing arms of Football Jesus to swelter in Texas heat? I don't think so. Maybe BYU? The glory days of Lavelle Edwards ended and BYU has become just another bunch of ersatz missionaries looking for redemption. I don't think Texas would like playing at BYU altitudes either.

Things got a whole lot worse this morning though. The Fishwrapper indicated that Oklahoma is looking to bail-out Sooner rather than later. And if the Sooners give up on the Red River Rivalry fest it appears that the OK State Cowboys are going to follow down the mooring line off the sinking ship. If the PAC-many conference still has an open door they've got a couple of folks knocking.

Who is left holding the bag of Longhorn droppings? Apparently ESPN with their nascent Longhorn Network which now apparently would have the cornerstone team with few conspicuously exciting opponents.

More to come on the breaking news soon.

Saturday Morning Rocker

A few guitar licks for your morning coffee:

A Word of Caution

I am now in a state of deep depression. I made a huge error in judgment and I'm going to warn you all so that you do not experience the same thing.

Three days ago I received a CD-ROM in the mail from the Red River Valley Association, aka "River Rats". The disc contains the professional photos that were taken at this year's reunion on Friday and Saturday. There are more than six hundred photos on the disc.

I left the thing sitting on my desk for the intervening three days but today found myself with the time to slip in the big beige box slot and take a look. Don't make that mistake, friends!

The pictures cover virtually everyone who was there, often several times. They are clear and true color and offer incredibly sharp focus. When viewed on a 24" LCD display they show a collection of very old, very fat, very wrinkled, very gray folks. I find myself among them.

It's damned depressing!

If Gunny Ermey Replaced Jay Carney

***I didn't write this***I don't know the original source***I didn't write this***

USMC PRESS CONFERENCE

For the few of you who missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's "Mail Call" and played the Drill Instructor in the movie, "Full Metal Jacket." He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq insurgent to death. We pick up as the reporter asks about how this potential war crime will affect our image in the world:

Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"

Reporter 1: "Well I think...."

Ermey: "THINK, Fancy boy?! Get this through that septic tank on top of your shoulders, moron, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? That Marine shot an ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD; SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!! Next question: You in the Blue suit".

Reporter 2: "Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important?"

Ermey: "Oh sure! You don't know the times I have cried myself to sleep worrying about what some goddamned French pansy thinks! Oh, the days I have had to weep because some shit eating terrorist fucker might be mad at us, because we went into whatever god forsaken hole in the shit that he lives in and killed him. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINKING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!! Next question: YOU WITH THE UGLY-ASSED TIE. LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS."

Reporter: 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."

Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!! WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMBNUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN-SHIT PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"

Reporter: 3: "I..."

Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, NUMBNUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY-HOLE IN THAT SHIT-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"

Straight Line Waiting for Jokes

Remember that lesson in sixth grade civics about the Founding Fathers creating a government of limited powers? Only a handful of us apparently do so these days. But you've got to wonder where the executive branch of the federal government is going to reach next:

Licensed to Carry

"Excuse me, miss, but are those licensed?"

"When boobs are outlawed, only outlaws will have boobs."

"Unregistered hooters linked to assault on ICE agents."

Well, you get the idea.

Declining Support

I can't wait to see how Jay Carney finesses this bit of bad news:

NASCAR Leaders Say No to Dinner Invite

So the Messiah invites eleven and gets five "regrets" back. Gotta love those guys from the heartland, clinging to their guns, religion, American flags and good ol' country music.

He gets a snub from the House of Representatives at his attempt on GOP debate pre-emption and now we'll get to see how he competes against an NFL season opener pre-game show. I'm betting the dailies will give him about a 2.4 market share.

I can hardly wait to see how much money we don't have he is going to request to jump-start the economy he's built. If we could maybe route another half-billion or so to Solyndra it might not be too late.