Many readers might be too young to remember those days, but once upon a time you could get a soft drink out of a vending machine for a nickel or a dime. You could play five songs for a quarter in a juke box. You could wash and dry four loads of clothes for a buck’s worth of change. And we didn’t have credit cards in our wallets. If you pulled out a dollar bill or a five spot, you were buying a full bag of groceries. Life was simpler then.
But, Cokes went to a quarter and then fifty cents. We still could stuff a couple of coins in the slot and quench our thirst, but it cost a bit more. The news-paper box in the corner took a quarter for the daily edition, but you had to plan ahead before you went out to get the Sunday edition. It was the budget version of a spaghetti western, “A Fistful of Quarters” and next year, “For a Few Quarters More.”
Living in Europe and traveling a lot in my job I was always faced with currency problems. Italy this week, Greece and Turkey the next. Last week it was Denmark and Belgium. I lived in Germany and Spain, but dealt in dollars when on base. Eventually I had a cigar box in my lower left desk drawer filled with envelopes of left-over coins and bills from around the continent. Converting to dollars in my head, particularly after a hard night of being entertained by some NATO allies was a futile exercise. Eventually you simply give up and put all of the local currency on the table and let the waiter take what he needs. You are never sure whether you got a bargain or not when you buy anything. Just consider all that funny money as “fafoofniks” and shove it across the bar.
The Europeans have pretty much solved the problem. They’ve unified their currency and without much objection everyone is on the same standard. No more exchange issues and interestingly, no One Euro denomination bill. Why can’t we get that smart? Check out all of the other countries that have figured it out.
Maybe This Time?
When I first visited Las Vegas they didn’t have a one dollar chip. They had real silver dollars. They were big and heavy and impractical to carry in any quantity, but they felt good in your hand and people saved them for their grand-children. Then one day, they got pulled off the tables and within a couple of months they were all out of circulation.
Now it takes six or seven quarters to buy that Coke. Ever seen a cigarette vending machine? Round up six or seven bucks worth of quarters to buy a pack. Admittedly most folks don’t, but that’s what it takes. Hit up one of those mega-dispenser machines for sandwiches, candy-bars and other goodies and you’ll be stuffing limp paper into a slot that spits it back a dozen times before you get anything. When will we have Viagra for currency?
Why then are we too stupid to accept the dollar coin? Susan B. Anthony came and went with people griping that it looked too much like a quarter. Sacajawea added gold color and octagon relief carving so idiots could distinguish by sight and feel. Still no luck with adaptation. Now we’ve got multiple issue president dollar coins and a good economic reason for converting. Will this be the time?
I doubt it. The idea of kicking out a new president coin every couple of months makes the whole business into a collector thing rather than real money. Pick one guy and make a gazillion coins with his head on them. Jefferson did OK on quarters and Lincoln isn’t going anywhere on the penny. How about the Millard Fillmore dollar? I’d be happy to spend Teddy Roosevelts every day.
Then, recognize that the only way the fools are going to figure out how to deal with the buck coin is to force them. Take away the dollar bill. Period, end of an era. No more printed paper dollar bill. Get over it. It’s gone. Here’s a fistful of Teddys.
Not gonna happen. But maybe some day.
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