I've watched Cops enough to know that the average scumbag arrested for drug possession is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. You can watch the slow and rusty wheels of the long defunct brain rotate slowly as they try to extemporaneously create a plausible explanation for the obvious. One would think that a competent criminal would have pre-scripted a scenario for application in those embarrassing situations.
This one must have been a Cheech & Chong moment. Traffic stop, window rolls down and cloud of pungent gray smoke erupts from the vehicle. It ain't burning upholstery. "Step out of the car, sir!"
Did You Have a Recent Episode in Your Trousers or Are You Unhappy to See Me?
If they watched Cops as much as I do, they would know that the underwear hideaway is probably not going to work. Rubber gloves and the opportunity to give a perp a free wedgie have made that cache a poor choice.
What you really wonder is how much junk is in that trunk? Why would he say the first baggie was his, but the second wasn't? Was the closet so crammed with goodies that he forgot what was stashed on the top shelf? The grass was his, but the crack crack was a friend's. That may be a case of going the extra mile for a buddy. Would you take care of this and put it somewhere safe? Sure, pal, I know just the place.
Maybe the more interesting question is that if you assume (no pun intended) that the perp's story is true; that a friend left a bag with 27 rocks on the seat of his car after he borrowed it. Then you must ponder how he sat on more than two dozen rocks without feeling a thing; how the baggie and rocks migrated from the seat, up his trou, over the waistband, down his shorts and finally found a cozy nest. And didn't he notice anything when he was stowing his grass?
This guy shouldn't be allowed on the streets alone. He is criminally dumb.
1 comment:
That is just way too funny Ed. I do believe I've met that gentleman. Maybe it was his brother.
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