Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Jobs Created

Yes folks, your government is hard at work creating jobs to get us out of this economic downturn. And, I want you to know these aren't simply make-work jobs. They are serious government positions requiring skills and high levels of education. They will be making a difference in society and offer a career path to the highest levels of the administration:

Skilled Linguists To Decode Street, Sanskrit, Pashtu and More

Dat right! Word! Yo mama taught you ebonics and dat be da ticket to da future. Of course, where one goes seeking accreditation in ebonics remains a bit problematic, but I'm certain there are a number of quality institutions which offer the degree.

Now, you will also have the problem that when you take this job and translate the street vernacular for the DEA, you will then have this huge bulls-eye on your back, front and both sides as the local homies learn what you be doing.

Who, seriously, writes a job description like that? Why would someone have sought such a credential in the first place (if there was one.)? You don't teach ebonics in schools, you learn it on the street. Like all slang it evolves almost weekly and it is very regional in dialect. What a street thug in Oakland says on a subject might be considerably different from the guy in Compton which might be indecipherable to the brother in Bed-Sty and misunderstood by your friends in Cabrini Green.

And, how many drug deals go down in Sanskrit these days?

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