Flashback: 1974

I was watching an orgy of college football yesterday, a 12 hour feast of game after game with channel-hopping featured to insure I didn't miss a season-opening look at anybody. Along the way the futility of pre-season ranking was confirmed for me.

It was about 8:00 PM last night that it occurred. The NCAA desperately needs a fashion consultant. They are on a slippery slope such as the world of garish clothing has not encountered since the 1970's. This time around it could be worse than polyester double-knit sport coats, 10-inch wide brocade ties, pimp-heeled boots, and floral spread collar shirts with a gold chain dangling on a hairy chest. Super-flared hip-huggers were nothing compared to what I was seeing on the viddie.

The football uniforms worn by today's college teams are apparently sold in unlighted warehouses. No one could make those choice in actual daylight. They are so bad that LSU's traditionally classic yellow actually looked pretty good.

The Oregon Ducks with the matte black, velvet finish helmets, the shiny applique faux feathers on the shoulders of the jersey and the day-glo green numbers looked like Darth Vader meets Stealth Transformer. Nobody should have to go before a crowd of 50,000 people costumed like that.

Georgia has taken red to a new level. First fashion clue: never wear the red jersey, pants and helmet all at once. They looked like raspberry popsicles melting all over the field.

I thought for a second that Boise State looked pretty dignified and cultured. The sported all white unis with an avant garde single sky-blue sleeve cap. Since they already win the poor taste award for their choice of electric blue Astro-Turf in the home field it seemed as though the game costume was reasonably subdued. That's when SWMBO pointed out the pink shoes. How does a coach convince a team of football gorillas that pink pumps are the perfect game accessory to intimidate the other guys?

I'm afraid this is going to get a lot worse before improvement comes along. Remember the major league baseball uniforms of the '70s? At least MLB doesn't give us "Throw-back" games like the NFL...yet!