"Hi. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, but you're not. You're sick."
"No I'm not. I feel fine."
"You're not fine. You're sick and we've got the pictures to prove it."
"But if I were sick wouldn't I have some aches or pains or something? I'm not sick."
"Yes you are, but don't worry we can fix things for you."
"You mean you can make me not sick?"
"Well, no, we can't guarantee that. What we can do for sure is make you feel sick so that you won't have doubts about whether or not you are really sick. That way folks won't think you are playing on their sympathy. You will really feel sick. It's our specialty."
"So, you can't be sure of making me better but you can be sure of making me positive that I'm sick?"
"We do better than that. We can not only make you feel sick, we throw in making you look lousy too. No extra cost. You feel like crap and look even worse. It's all part of the deal."
These are folks that can deliver. No need to read the fine print on the money back guarantee. I'm convinced.