Monday, September 14, 2009

'Roid Rage

One side effect of steroid abuse is supposedly an overly aggressive attitude and a proclivity for violent outbursts. We should be familiar with it as we've watched for the last twenty-five or more years as football players become increasingly super-sized, able to bend steel with their bare hands, run faster than a speeding bullet and crush opposing super-sized linemen into submission without winding up short of breath. In fact, if rampant steroid usage makes an individual more susceptible to focussed outbursts without much provocation that might be viewed as a desirable football outcome. Explode off the line of scrimmage if you need to.

The problem arises when the 'roid rage occurs off the field because unfortunatley there is no convenient on/off switch. Then we get spouse abuse, bar fights, night time habitat destruction and injured by-standers.

In baseball, we see the manifestation in charging of pitchers' mounds (once a rare interruption to the normal staid and placid passage of a sunny afternoon at the ball park) or the breaking of a Louisville Slugger 35-inch, 34-ounce Bobby Bonds knot-free ash autograph-edition bat with bare hands. It may extend to the hapless water fountain in the dugout and occasionally results in a shower of furniture erupting from the clubhouse tunnel onto the area behind the third base coach's box.

But, what to make of this:

I'd Shove This F****** Ball Down Your F****** Throat

That was the petite Miss Serena Williams expressing her disagreement with a 4' 8" Asian line judge in a ladies tennis match.

Yes, the white flannels and straw boater crowd was delighted to observe the distaff side of the sport engaged in good old American sports banter on the clay courts. Take a look at the pictures in that news piece.

Is Ms William's musculature indicative of a well-planned exercise and diet regimen do you think? Or is modern chemistry at work there? Then also note the picture of the winners.

I'm thinking Serena is wasting her money on hypodermic needles.

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